Linkage

Diagnosis

The verdict is in and I should be back up to full power in about two weeks. The E/N/T specialist I saw today had it figured out in about 10 minutes. Seems I have all the classic signs of Silent Reflux. This is the first time any expert has accused me of anything silent.

I have a very minor case and normally this will not be an issue. It is only an issue because I had been recently sick and tore up my throat at the time with heavy coughing.

This is how it breaks down. When I had pneumonia all the hacking ripped up my esophagus. Normally this heals when you get past the pneumonia/cold/flu. My body instead kept spraying stomach acid on top of these minor esophageal wounds not allowing them to heal. This in turn messed up my throat more which kept being sprayed down with acid. Rinse/repeat.

So basically he gave me more of the happy codeine juice and put me on Prilosec. The Prilosec will put the reflux in check allowing my throat to heal normally. In about two weeks I should be back to normal.

This rocks. A Doc with an answer and a timeline to work with. Two weeks is easy to handle knowing the finish line is at the end.

~The Dad

New settings

Activated the ability to leave comments and set up the archives differently.

Will be messing with controls over the next few days.

Seeing a E/N/T Doc this afternoon. With my luck he will be the twin brother Dr Asshat.

~The Dad

Tarn visit

After my bro in-law's wedding during my two week jaunt I took a side trip up to Maine to meet my long time, online friend Tarnagh and her family.

*STRANGER DANGER*
Do not meet people online ever.
*STRANGER DANGER*

If you do and you are molested make sure to take your cut from the internet sales.

Let me start this off with explaining my friend Tarn. She is a quiet, caring soul who would never say a bad word about...screw it. A picture is worth a thousand words.

GroupHug

Look at the pic again and pay special attention to the sparkle in her eyes. That is the evil trying to escape.

It failed.

After taking the sometimes sideways back roads of Main I am close to my destination. MapQuest delivers for me yet again. I am a few miles from Tarn's place when my cell goes off. I hadn't missed a turn and was spot on for time.

It was Tarn calling. It seems someone with a CRV had looked lost near her place and thought it might be me. She knew it was a different color but called to make sure. Needless to say when Tarn called me to check up on my directions she made me miss a turn on my directions.

I arrive. Tarn gives a hug. I don't think she can half hug anyone. She hugs to kill.

Her son is there. Cool guy. Soft spoken with a sarcastic wit. Even when you try to rattle him he stays on point and sticks to the original topic. If he can get the drive to match his brains he can take over a small country some where. Then he would get bored and the population would starve to death as he watched indifferently on youtube.

We head inside. Tarn's fiance is passed out. He works shift work and it's his time to snooze. Opening chit chat and all. Her two cats are cool.1 Tarn's guy wakes up. He is the type to sit there and absorb it all before jumping in. Once he does it's like he was there from the get go.

Geek mode on
They are into playing CoV. I played CoH from Beta to just before CoV was released. The logged in to show me some CoV stuff. I call shenanigans. They nerfed the Fire/Fire Controller but the Mastermind on the Villain side is so much more potent it's nasty. I personally don't do nerfs. I think they should restore the F/F Con instead of nerfing the Mastermind.
Geek mode off

Tarn's other kiddo shows up. Teen daughter. She hides a bit of timidity/naivety behind being brash and outgoing. She is a bit CAT ADHD.

Kids go there separate ways, friends and all. While sitting there with Tarn and Tarn Guy (as he is now named) the conversation heads toward the IRC. Tarn and I met on a gaming forum (video games and the like) and spend most evenings in an IRC chatroom. There are a bunch of us regulars that hang out in there. I like to watch TV, surf the web and chat in there.

Anyway, the convo goes to IRC. I log into the channel on her account. I start yelling how screwed up the visit with the Grumps was (yes, I am bitching about myself as her to clear up any confusion) and end with,"WTF DID HE DO TO MY BATHROOM". I then abruptly log out.

Tarn and Tarn Guy just sit there staring at me. Mouths agape and speechless. Now in the years I have known Tarn I didn't think speechless was an option. I was rather proud.

We log back into the channel under a different name through another client so they don't know it's us and we monitor the room off and on the rest of the night. Just to see what they say. We laugh at comments. Tarn and I will eventually take this joke a few more days with each of us logging in on our own accounts to bitch about the fucked up other one. The joke ends one night after she and I were done laughing our asses off. Fun stuff.

We grab some pizza and sodas. Break out the Scrabble and have a good time all around. I really enjoyed the visit. Except for the fact I had to put my clothes in a separate HAZMAT bag to not get the smoke smell on the rest of my stuff (if a cigarette is not burning at any given moment in that house from one of the smokers they must all be outside at once) I'd have no complaints.

Thanks for putting up with me for the day Tarn and Tarn Guy. Hopefully I can figure out a way to do it again in the future.

You all hear the bad things about meeting people online. Bullshit. If you use common sense and do it right you can have a good time. I sure did. The cool part is I now know what her family is like so when we talk about them online I have more then a foggy mental image.


1 The cat's belong to Tarn's daughter. I'd apologize but she got bored after the first sentence and wandered off.

~The Dad



How a parent handles a perv

Recently my buddy ran into a freaky situation. A guy who was 19 and a friend of the family when my bud's daughter was 7 crossed the line. Bud's daughter is now 19 and the simple math shows the jerk is now 31. He has shown undue interest in the daughter. Regardless of your opinions on age differences in relationships a line was crossed.

YOU DO NOT TRY TO DIDDLE YOUR FRIEND'S KID!

So in times like these I could post some long, detailed method of how to hurt/maim/kill and hide the body. I prefer to go with this more twisted method.



~The Dad

Even more disgusting (you are warned)

Today I was able to keep my food down and was grateful. I had been wanting Chinese so I had some Hot & Spicy Beef for dinner. It tasted a bit bland. I chalked that up to my taste buds being a bit off with all the sick happening.

I'm watching some TV in the living room around a half hour later and start coughing. It kept going. I fought off the urge to purge and life was good. Watch some more TV. The cough comes back. Worse. Realizing this is not going to end well I jump up.

Earlier today I had found out the new anti-biotic I am on is so strong it doubles as a colon cleanser.

*waits for those still reading to do the math and cringe*

So as I jump up I realize I am about to put in a double shift at the old porcelain factory. Realizing the potential for a massive toxic spill I grab the Chinese food bag. You know the white bag with a brown paper bag inside it. I had used it to toss my meal refuse into. I'm glad I had some foresight.

Long story short I am sitting on the home throne proving it is possible operate both ends at maximum setting simultaneously.

Luckily I had rescued the fortune cookies from the bag earlier.

~The Dad

Immediate Care

Hit the IC this morning. Saw one of the Drs I had seen prior. Wish this dude had office hours. I liked him when I saw him in IC last time. He went through ever visit records, took notes, asked questions, LISTENED to the answers, was personable, etc He currently only does IC work.

Anyhoo, he threw a new anti-biotic and some more codeine happy juice to last until Wednesday. It sucks but it does make a difference and for that I'm grateful. I still have the same cough but it keeps it below the puke level. I actually got a short nap in this afternoon and kept breakfast down.

~The Dad

Paging Dr. Asshat (Don't read this if puking bothers you)

Summary of prior events:

I briefly mentioned being sick in last night's post. Normally I don't mention that shit online on forums or IRC. Being sick is not an excuse to attention whore. Suck it up buttercup. Save that shit for your own blog...

I've been sick for a month and a half. Cold leading to Pneumonia. Fixed that but the cough stayed. They couldn't figure it out so they said it was just inflamed lungs/throat reacting to coughing by coughing more>Bad cough they can't figure it out so they said it was a Chronic Sinus Infection. Tons of hardcore drugs (narcotic cough suppressants, anti-biotics, inhalers, etc). I have had to go to Immediate Care each time since to see my regular Dr. it takes a month to get an appointment time.

The cough was not improving but was not getting worse. At this point I leave for my trip out east. Two weeks of visiting all over. I covered the destinations in last night's post. The only problem was my cough meds that they said would last long enough didn't. My cough started getting worse. After a pain in the ass morning trying to get a refill at my in-laws place I realize it's too late. I'm fucked.

When in NJ coughed so hard I tossed chunks once. I went outside, decorated the grass on the side of the house no one uses/sees then drive to take the family out to eat at a burger joint they love. I wasn't feeling too bad, just the cough. Hey! I'm not fat, I'm just a bulimic failure!

In the past 4 days I have coughed so hard I have blown chunks at least once a day. I instituted a rule I wouldn't eat any meal without something sweet to finish off. Helped the taste on the way back out. I gave you warning in the title about this topic. I have kept down one meal in the past two days.

Immediate Care will be closed by the time we get back home so the wife suggested last night I go to the ER. They take up the slack when Immediate Care is closed. I hated it but her logic was sound so I agreed. First stop in town is leaving me at the ER and the Mrs and MNA go home to unpack, unwind some, let the dogs out.


The Emergency Room:

I grab my meds, ipod and headphones and toss them in my backpack. I head on in. I walk up and someone is ahead of me at intake. I chill out and wait my turn. Another intake clerk shows up and takes my info. I sit and wait for the triage nurse to see me next. She takes my info and I have a seat.

In just a few minutes they whisk me off to a room in the ER. I try to lay down on the gurney but the change of horizon causes another coughing spasm. Knowing I was most likely going to lose lunch today I grabbed a McD's milkshake on the drive. It seems a milkshake bought in Illinois has the power to escape gravity in Wisconsin.

It is not my fault they cover up the toilet in the room with Transformer type lid and sides. It looked like an ugly seat, I didn't know it lifted up into a short shitter. It IS my fault for not grabbing the garbage can. So the sink with the little drain the Doc washes his hands with when he leaves/enters the room. I clog it.

At this point I clean up a bit. Open the sliding door and move the curtain a little. Stick my head out and call out,"Clean up on Aisle 5". It seems trained ER staff with proper experience respond with a look of disgust then disappear. They know they don't want to be stuck on clean up. The new guy who made eye contact mumbles about contacting house keeping and slinks off.

One of the cute college girls who works the intake office comes into the room to double check the paperwork info. This is the SOP there. She walks in, her pretty little nose crinkles in disgust. She looks around but can't see the source of the smell since it is neatly sitting over in the sink behind where she is leaning. I just attempt a feeble smile, give the info and she splits.

At this point I get a txt message on my cell. I check it. One of my buddies I hung out with for a day back in NJ sent me a text that reads: hey there bud! had a great time last week. so glad to see ya!

Knapp, when you read this I just want to let you know I did have a good time last week kicking your ass in Risk (my blog, I can lie and say I won bitch) but your timing is still as wonderful as ever. At least you didn't knock up my nurse.

Speaking of my nurse. She arrives. Nice lady, personable and shows she is adept at her job. She walks in, sees the mess, rolls up her sleeves, grabs the rubber gloves and picks it up. AS she is in there the wimp who mumbled about housekeeping shows up and says to her,"I was going to have housekeeping do it". She glared at him and said,"Then it would never get done". She cleans it up and sprays the room with some floral stank to mask the smell.

At this time she reaches into a cabinet and hands me this cardboard Don Quixote hat. It was shaped exactly like an old shaving bowl but was made out of the funky grey cardboard you get when you need to carry multiple drinks out of a fast food joint. I get the glare as she exits the room.

After more waiting Dr. Asshat strolls into the room. He has the personality of an ass barnacle. He asked me some questions and left. Take note of two that I will go over again later.

Q) Are you using the inhalers you were prescribed?
A) No, they give me instant coughing spasms the can easily end up with me puking.

Q) Are the meds you are currently prescribed making any difference?
A) They make it so I can barely get a little sleep. Besides that they are worthless.

He marks up his clipboard and saunters away.

Back to waiting.

The RN come back in and hands me this contraption called a Peak Flow Meter. I take a deep breath, exhale hard into it and it registers my lung capacity. Then she puts me on a nebulizer to breathe in the same shit they gave me on an inhaler. She sticks me to draw blood. Once I am done playing Puff the Magic Dragon she totters off to let the meds sink in my alveoli (lung sacs, pay attention in 7th grade next time).

After a while in comes in the next nurse. He looks like the kid brother to Hardy of Laurel and Hardy fame. He is there to do the EKG. For some silly reason when an old fat bastard shows up with problems breathing they think it could be a heart issue. How dare they be thorough.

As he is putting the leads on me I notice he has 4 digits written in ink on his hand. I jokingly ask if that is so he can remember his phone number. It was to remember his PIN number when he signs on to shift. He is not exactly inspiring confidence here.

Back to waiting. As usually I sit still and zone. The less I move/talk the less I cough. In comes the X-ray lady. She looks at me and asks if I want to be taken away on the gurney or using the wheelchair. I vote wheelchair.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

We arrive and I get my ass out of the wheelchair. Warning, fat men not trained to remove themselves from a wheelchair when sick are funny to watch. At least I'm sure if I saw my ass trying to stand

Stand, turn, hold still, deep breath, whiiiirrrrrrrr snickooly click. OK, done.

*insert coughing fit here*

As I cough she runs off to join the rest of the gnomes to finish the Keebler cookies and check on my x-rays. She missed part of the lung in one pic so we redo that shot. Rinse/repeat.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

As I'm being pushed down the hallway on the western rickshaw I had the urge to throw my arms out like DiCaprio on a ship and then call out,"Chris2c2 this IS fun!" No, really. I thought that. Die Chris.

Back to my room smelling of puke and mountain flowers. The RN lady pops her head back in and tells me the Dr. is just waiting on all the film/lab results so he can talk to me. I grab my ipod out of the backpack and zone to some podcasts.

Dr. Asshat returns. He says he contacted my regular physician (the guy I have to wait a month to get an appointment with) and he will see me Wednesday at noon thirty. He says nothing is wrong that he can find (Deja Vu much) and he understands this must be frustrating for me so he will shoot me some other meds. One is another inhaler but with an adaptor to make it more effective. Then he talks about this great anti-cough stuff he will give me and splits.

Yes, he just took the info, called my regular Dr, threw some temp meds at me and told me to see a Dr. who gives a fuck. At least that is how I saw it. Whatever, at least I got new meds. If they stop the coughing then the rest will fix itself.

I call the wife pissed off over this crap and ask her to please head out to come pick me up. She's on the way with MNA as security.

After a few hours in at the ER the RN comes in, hands me two scripts, explains how to take them and goes on with her shift. She tells me I can take the new meds with the old ones. .

I call a buddy and vent as I wait for the Mrs. She arrives and we head out to the closest pharmacy.

DAMNIT, remodeling.

Have to go to the other one across town. Wife drops me and the MNA off and heads to the other one. I get the MNA ready for bed, hang out for a bit so she chills and then tuck her in. I hop online to work on e-mail backlog.

The Mrs shows up and has a weird look on her face...

She asks if I got new meds. I replied in the affirmative. She hands me the bag.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Dr. Asshat not only passed me off like a hot potato as fast as he could he gave me the same exact prescriptions. The inhaler didn't even have the extra tube he said it would have to help it work more effectively.

Now lets go back and look at the two Q&A mentioned earlier.

Q) Are you using the inhalers you were prescribed?
A) No, they give me instant coughing spasms the can easily end up with me puking.

Q) Are the meds you are currently prescribed making any difference?
A) They make it so I can barely get a little sleep. Besides that they are worthless.

He gave me the same ineffective bullshit and told me to see my own Dr. in 4 days. This asshole thinks I'm going to cough so hard my ribs and abs hurt and puke up my meals for 4 mother fucking days because he can't be bothered to actually do his job. Thanks for wasting my time.

This one isn't over by a long shot. I'll track down who to contact to lodge a complaint against this asshole. I'm going to ride this one hard.


Denouement

The wife pointed out I should go to Immediate Care when they open up first thing in the morning, tell them the story, show the same meds and ask the guy for some strong anti-cough med I haven't had to hold me until my Wednesday Dr appointment. Once I cooled off I agreed.

Then I started thinking, what if they think I'm just showing up to score drugs? What if they think I'm some cook hypochondriac wasting their time. What if I'm petulant and pissy and want to be a jerk?

My first thought was to order Chinese for dinner and if it came back up bring the bag of it in to the Dr office in the morning to back my story up. I quickly shot that down. That is nasty even for me.

Then I thought I could grab breakfast before I hit Immediate Care...

~The Dad

Last night on the road

I've been on the road for the past two weeks. Will be arriving at my humble abode tomorrow. Visited my family in NJ, watched my bro in-law get hitched. The wife and MNA went down to her 'rents house ahead of me so I could drive up to Main to see a friend then over to Schenectady, NY to see another. Then I was off to the in laws.

My in-laws are conservative, Catholic, Mid-Western salt of the earth folk who like things to be done a certain way. I'm a grumpy asshole who contrary to popular opinion can be, shall we say hard to get along with on occasion. This was a good visit. Easily our best. My Mrs. is ecstatic it went so well. Hell, I'm thinking the next visit just might be fun too...

I have a metric butt load of stories from the trip. Still setting up the laptop to do my blogging on. By sometime next week I plan on doing my blogging from the laptop and just transferring the files over to the main rig as back up. This way in the future I'm good to go ASAP and it's one less thing to worry about before trips. That and I can use it locally too, say stuck in the service department during the auto checkup.

I\'m aware the header graphic is currently MIA. That will be fixed when I am back home and got some time. I only have it set up on the main system and not this one. Didn\'t realize until on the road.

I busted my ass at the Gym starting back in December. Trainer two days a week and worked my fat butt up to going the other 5 days on my own. Lost twenty pounds. Was sick with a nasty cough (codeine cough meds anyone?) and couldn't work out a week before leaving. Then the two weeks on this current excursion. I feel like I found them back. Darn it, now I know my sweet spot for burning calories daily and eating right at home. You know: eat less, move more. I will drop it and more. That or stroke out on the elliptical so some stretcher jockey gets a hernia lifting my carcass to the ambulance.

OK, enough rambling for now. I plan on posting about all that happened on the trip as I feel in the groove to write it up. I'll try to keep it in semi-order but I will most likely fail.

Bleh

~The Dad

Deli goggles

For those not aware of the slang of the 20th Century Beer Googles is a state of inebriation where your body starts losing it's self control and the more animal urges come forth. When your standards lower due to your instincts to rut like a wild boar begin to take over. That or you are just so drunk your horny ass would hump a fire hydrant if you weren't scared of your friends putting it on youtube.

Now I shall delve into a more insidious mental state. This is the story of Deli Goggles.

Let me describe to you a moment in time captured under the harsh fluorescent glare of a local supermarket...

***a crescendo of the Oscar Meyer Weiner tune begins***


Standing in front of the Deli counter at the local grocery store I am bored. There are other shoppers walking in a trance. Like a salmon going upriver to die yet but they need to buy Cheezits first.

Another customer walks up. I of course make fast eye contact, a nod of the head or a fast smile of acknowledgment. She vaguely resembles a woman but you don't care. You haven't had supper yet and the smells from the Deli counter are enticing.

The clerk behind the counter asks for your order. I say the first thing and he's off. Apparently he can't remember more then one task at a time so you I to piece meal the list to him. As I wait for the pound of swiss cheese I realize I am bored. I had read all the labels in the area and have started to see if I could remember the first few ingredients on a few of them to test myself. Truly bored.

Then I notice her scent. A perfume that I can smell over the gentle waft of garlic emanating from the salami. I glance at her. You know, she is not that bad. Then the clerk hands me my Swiss and asks if there is anything else. I look up from this intriguing woman and tell him I need a pound of pastrami. He walks off.

Trying not to be scene I steal furtive glances at her some more. The line from her neck to her shoulders is exquisite. Like a bust of a beautiful Greek princess. Not realizing my hunger for food is now manifesting itself through the desire for physical release. The lady next to me looks better then she did 5 minutes ago. She is getting better by the stomach pang.

My pastrami is done. I now give the man behind the counter my final order which is for Cajun spiced ham. He scurries off. I gander at Jessica Alba's hotter sister now standing next to me waiting for her head cheese.

Curses on the the deli guy! He interrupts my day dream to ask me if I gave a damn about the thickness of the ham. Doesn't he see that I am mentally about to enter the Sexlympics with a world class partner? I tell him whatever he showed me was good enough. I look at her again and see that certain sparkle in her one good eye. The stubble on her chin was like cracked peppercorns on the outside of a medium rare roast beast.

One good eye...what is behind the eye patch?

Finally my rescuer behind the counter hands me my final parcel and I look at her again. Like I had just woken up for the first time I see reality. I immediately grab my packages and get out of there as fast as I can.

The freak next to me was drooling out her left side and was eying me all creepy.

~The Dad

Subtract Pi

MagPicPi
(Picture taken by the MNA)

Pi was our youngest. He was a year and a half old. He was the MNA's best buddy and they hung out with each other and played. He would sleep in her crib at times

After talking with our vet it was decided putting him on a sedative while we were gone was going to be needed. We started him a week early to keep an eye out for side effects and if it was the right dosage for him. We have a tight relationship with our Vets office. We have 4 pets and had to put down Shmi (cat) in 2006 and they have been fantastic.

Pi started on the meds and was uber stoned. I held him a foot off the ground with his feet facing the ground and let him go so he could walk away from me when I moved him off my lap and he would fall over, missing his feet. He slid down the stairs, etc. The first night I expected such so it was goofy but not outrageous. He hadn't gotten hammered before so this was new.

After two days it didn't let up. The wife and I talked and decided to cut the dose in half. We were given an acceptable range by our Vet to find what worked for Pi and this was legit. It didn't do enough. So the recommend dose was too strong. Half of that was too little. We went and tried a 3/4 dose. He was ok the first night, he then would just sit there and do nothing. He was normally an energetic cat.

We had some worries but he needed time to get used the meds. Considering he hadn't been stoned before it seemed he had a huge learning curve so we kept an eye on him and let him work it out. On the second day of this 3/4 dose he was no longer eating and was lethargic.

First thing this morning I was on the phone with the Vet, they said bring him in and drop him off. A few hours later I get the call. He was in severe liver failure. His blood test was off the charts. They diluted it down to 25% and it was still off the charts. The Vet we worked with today (we use all three there and they are great) was completed stymied. She checked with other vets, online, her resource books, etc. There was no mention by anyone of a case of a cat having this reaction to the med. There was a similar response with a drug that was a cousin to the one we used but the odds of such a reaction are almost unheard of. They had used this drug for years with no issues and none of the vets there had heard of such a thing.

At 7pm arrived at the Vet office, hung out in the suckstobeheremakesmalltalkandactlikeyouarenotcrying room. Pi arrived to sit with us for a bit. One look at him, the way he was breathing, the way he was meowing, the way he just was, it was time. Anything else would have been cruel. His quality of life was gone.

~The Dad

No wonder I'm so grumpy

I've been sick as hell for over a month now. It began as the flu that became pneumonia that is now a chronic sinus infection. Five doctor visits in a month and I walked out of their yesterday with 2 inhalers, 1 nose spray, 1 cough suppression pill and 1 antibiotic (my third anti-biotic so far). On the bright side I'm off the loopy meds. Hydrocodone and Codeine cough meds suck.

So I drop the MNA (Midget Ninja Assassin, my three year old daughter) off at pre-school today for a half day. Normally she only does a half day on Tue/Wed but with having to run around and get ready for the upcoming trip and feeling crappy it was better to have her spend a day at school. She loves it there and it is a great place. The Mrs. and I recommend it to anyone who asks.

So there I am sitting in the Target parking lot. I had just walked out with my purchases and was in the car on my cell phone talking to my buddy Al. The keys are on the seat next to me so I'm not perpetuating the "asshole talking on cellphone while driving" bullshit. I see some older lady (I'd guess in her late 50s early 60s) pull up and park diagonal in a straight parking spot. She just forgot to hit her break in time and decided to use my front bumper as her back up plan.

My CRV rocks back and forth. I tell Al I've got to go and hang up. I lay on my horn to get her attention, she looks around and ignores me. I get out of my car and call out,"Is there a reason you ran into my car?" The woman looks around like I must be talking to someone else. She looks at me and says,"I don't believe I hit your car"...

No, really, that was her response. So she walks over and looks at her diagonally parked car that has blocked in the car next to her. She sees she had in fact hit my car and parked hers while they are still grinding bumpers.

I hop in my car, pull back a bit and jump back out to see what gives (hopefully nothing). No damage occurred and I gave it a good looking over so I shrugged it off, told her to have a nice day and got back in my car. She kept looking at me like I was at fault. I don't care if you are 17 or 117, if you can't park in a straight pull in spot without hitting another vehicle and NOT even know it you need to sell the car and get a damn bus pass.

OK, situation over. I jump in the vehicle again and call Al back to tell him the crazy story. Just as I finish telling him...WHAM! It seems the dumbass parked next to me couldn't control her car vehicle door. It wasn't that windy out but it seems she threw her car door open and it hit my driver side rear view mirror loudly.

At this point I tell Al,"I just got hit again." He is rolling with laughter and I hang up to deal with this. My ride has the rear view mirrors made to be all bendy upon impact and luckily no damage was done. The lady is all apologetic and I play it low key and wave it off since there is no damage.

I get back in the car and while Al has collected his breath I give him the update, blame him for all of the crap (making him laugh more of course) and adjust my goals for the day down to one. Get the hell out of that parking lot without totaling my car.

I accomplished my goal for the day at least.

~The Dad