I've been sick as hell for over a month now. It began as the flu that became pneumonia that is now a chronic sinus infection. Five doctor visits in a month and I walked out of their yesterday with 2 inhalers, 1 nose spray, 1 cough suppression pill and 1 antibiotic (my third anti-biotic so far). On the bright side I'm off the loopy meds. Hydrocodone and Codeine cough meds suck.

So I drop the MNA (Midget Ninja Assassin, my three year old daughter) off at pre-school today for a half day. Normally she only does a half day on Tue/Wed but with having to run around and get ready for the upcoming trip and feeling crappy it was better to have her spend a day at school. She loves it there and it is a great place. The Mrs. and I recommend it to anyone who asks.

So there I am sitting in the Target parking lot. I had just walked out with my purchases and was in the car on my cell phone talking to my buddy Al. The keys are on the seat next to me so I'm not perpetuating the "asshole talking on cellphone while driving" bullshit. I see some older lady (I'd guess in her late 50s early 60s) pull up and park diagonal in a straight parking spot. She just forgot to hit her break in time and decided to use my front bumper as her back up plan.

My CRV rocks back and forth. I tell Al I've got to go and hang up. I lay on my horn to get her attention, she looks around and ignores me. I get out of my car and call out,"Is there a reason you ran into my car?" The woman looks around like I must be talking to someone else. She looks at me and says,"I don't believe I hit your car"...

No, really, that was her response. So she walks over and looks at her diagonally parked car that has blocked in the car next to her. She sees she had in fact hit my car and parked hers while they are still grinding bumpers.

I hop in my car, pull back a bit and jump back out to see what gives (hopefully nothing). No damage occurred and I gave it a good looking over so I shrugged it off, told her to have a nice day and got back in my car. She kept looking at me like I was at fault. I don't care if you are 17 or 117, if you can't park in a straight pull in spot without hitting another vehicle and NOT even know it you need to sell the car and get a damn bus pass.

OK, situation over. I jump in the vehicle again and call Al back to tell him the crazy story. Just as I finish telling him...WHAM! It seems the dumbass parked next to me couldn't control her car vehicle door. It wasn't that windy out but it seems she threw her car door open and it hit my driver side rear view mirror loudly.

At this point I tell Al,"I just got hit again." He is rolling with laughter and I hang up to deal with this. My ride has the rear view mirrors made to be all bendy upon impact and luckily no damage was done. The lady is all apologetic and I play it low key and wave it off since there is no damage.

I get back in the car and while Al has collected his breath I give him the update, blame him for all of the crap (making him laugh more of course) and adjust my goals for the day down to one. Get the hell out of that parking lot without totaling my car.

I accomplished my goal for the day at least.

~The Dad