Linkage

Book him Dano

A few days ago the MNA told me out of the blue she did not like a kid in pre-school. He is a problem child who throws fits and sucks up the teachers time/patience. A wonderful result of parents who want to be their kids best friend. I asked what had happened and she replied,"I just don't like him." In order to change his name to protect the not so innocent I shall call him Gnash.

Yesterday waiting for the MNA to put on her boots/coats to go home from pre-school the teacher told me humorous anecdote. There is a child in class that does not play well with others who can be a bit of a bully. He is the kid who sucks all the teachers time and patience and throws fits all over.

I told her it was ok to not like people the world is big and there are good and bad people in it. The trick is to be one of the good people.

Yesterday I was waiting for the MNA to put on her coat/boots to leave pre-school and her teacher told me of how the MNA had handled this kid. He was acting up in class so the MNA walked over and firmly commanded him to sit and pointed to the ground. He plopped down and shut up. The teacher almost giggled.

THAT'S MY GIRL!

I told this story to everyone and anyone I talked to or regularly text with. I think it rocks. Funny part is she treated him like one of the dogs being bad and it worked.

Then there was today which was not as good. Again while the MNA was donning her cold weather gear the teacher lady pulled me aside so the two of us could talk.

Teacher: The MNA had her first time out today.

Not Teacher (word scramble hint: eM):
*raise an eyebrow*
Oh really?

Teacher: During lunch one of the other teacher ladies (contrary to popular belief teacher ladies travel in prides, no in schools) poked me with her elbow and told me to watch because the MNA had just poked Gnash with a plastic fork.

Both ladies stopped what they had been doing and watched as the MNA reached over, grabbed a book and bashed him in the face with it. In his defense for once Gnash had not provoked or caused this attack.

It may be popular opinion here and there that he deserved it from prior acts but this time he was in the clear.

I was less then pleased. I made sure she had apologized to him. If not she was going back into the classroom to do it before leaving.

We got home and she received no snack or pre-nap book reading. It was straight to her room and put her PJs on.

In order to drive the point home I called all grandparents and she had to tell them she was bad and why. I told her we were calling them so she could tell them she was bad for hitting someone.

No one can nail you with the "I am very disappointed in you" with the stopping power of experienced parenting found in a grandparent. My father in law nailed it. If expressing disappointment through vocal means only was a sport he would be in the hall of fame.

My mother in law was solid. My mom was a wuss. I am not sure when in life my mother went soft but it happened a few decades to late in my opinion.

Tonight she was to join her school in their winter choral concert. Each class (based on age) goes up and sings 2 songs. Then when done they all sing 2 songs en masse. The evening ends in juice, cookies and giggles.

Not this time. If you do not behave yourself at school you lose the privilege of extra curricular activities. Tucked her in and went about my business.

The standard is when you are in trouble and go to bed for either nap or night time you wake up with a clean slate. As we say it "it will be a new day and you won't be in trouble anymore."

I woke her from her nap at the usual time and after she got her clothes on and woke up I sat down with her and asked her if she would hit another kid. She said no. I told her if things were bad like that to tell a teacher first. I believed she caught on.

It was big hug time and told her it was a new day and we continued on as we do. I asked her about it again later without being stern and she immediately said she wasn't going to hit anyone and smiled over it, not being worried about a wrong answer or getting busted all over again.

I never raised my voice. I did not hit/smack/shove/etc. I got my point across strongly and believe it hit home. Sure she might do it again but she now knows there are consequences and if she doesn't think twice the foundation for what happens when you hit has been laid.

If she does it again I will have no choice but to limit the amount of times she can watch Goodfellas in a week.

~The Dad