Documentation 2

On 17 Feb 09 I posted Documentation 1
, this is an update.

Since the arrest Ferrell has not been able to raise bail and has been incarcerated. He has recently had a motion to lower bail be denied and has been found after psych eval to be fit to participate in his defense.

My wife and I have talked with the lady and her kids a few times since I last posted. Always on good terms. The daughter and youngest boy always perk up and say hello when they see me and I take a few to talk to them when I have time.

Today I was arriving home from an appointment when I saw the youngest boy across the street in my neighbors driveway petting his dog through the gate. The kid is over there often. His mom says he wants a dog but it is not in the cards for them.

I had time so I walked over and asked him if he wanted to we could clear it through his mom and he could play in my backyard with my dogs. Joey (name changed for blogging) ran over and asked his mom and I talked to her.

My wife and I have noticed before she hovers around him and seems nervous he will get her. More so then the other kids. I found out he has hearing problems which explained much.

So with mom's permission Joey age 6, my daughter Maggie age 4 and I went over to my back yard. I closed the gate, got the dogs and my book and went back outside. I set up my chair where his mom could see me from her front porch. The kids and dogs had fun.

Joey was a bit nervous since my dogs outweigh him but he was fine after a while. He and Maggie kept going up and down on her slide. I sat there listening to the unobtrusively. I know from Foster Kids growing up you need to keep an eye on things for both children's safety.

I think Joey is a great kid and don't suspect him of anything. He also has been exposed to a pattern of behavior that is picked up at a young age and kids being kids are known to duplicate what they know. So to keep everyone safe I was right there, reading my book while they played and had fun.

At one point Joey stops, looks at Maggie and matter of factly says,"You know Christopher beat up my mommy. He punched her in the face and she had to get stitches."

I knew this could happen. I also know we are going to take in foster kids and bad things happen in life. I waited to see how this would play out.

I am not going to swaddle my daughter in cotton and hide her from all that is bad. I wont let her see such things or go into detail but it happened and she heard it. This opens up conversation for discussion with her and I later. This can be used as a tool for discussion later.

There was silence from which I inferred she was just looking at him for a second. They where standing directly behind me within a few feet. Then in the same matter of fact voice Joey said he wanted to go back and play on the slide. That was all of it.

I plan on talking to Maggie some tomorrow about it briefly. She is at an age where brief descriptions work best. If she wants more info I'll keep the convo going but I know better then to be long winded so her eyes glaze over and she learned nothing from it.

What bothers is hearing how matter of fact Joey was when he said it. Up there with a kid telling you Dora is their favorite show or Big Bird is silly.

This kid is 6, plays by himself with a scared for his well being mom nervously checking up on him all the time. He talks a bit different due to hearing impairment and has a harsh family situation. From what I've seen there is not much of a positive male influence around.

I'll be inviting him over again. It will be good for all of us.