Things I learned at Digital Overload 2009 (The Cliff Notes version)

Tiger Woods has a gun and is not afraid to use it

If your top grade Canadian maple syrup is too runny you need to contact the border patrol over this international incident

Sumo wrestling leaves bruises, LOTS of bruises

When you are in line at a LAN convention by a web comic you are a geeks
When you are hanging out in line with friends you meet from those forums you are a geeks
When you are hanging out in line with those same friends whom you talk to almost daily on an IRC channel you are a geeks
When one of those friends whips out his cell, launches an app and then starts chatting in the aforementioned IRC Channel at the
same time you are geeks.
IF you combine all of these at once you have maxxed out geekdom and wait for the epic levels to be released

The petting zoo is in fact down the hall. Don't confuse us with your reality.

People do not believe what they see in front of them.

The New England Lemur is a curious creature. When removed from it's family unit it likes to run and climb over everything it sees until it comes across beer. Then it works hard to imbibe all the beer it can't fit inside another's sneaker.

7-11 is a magical place akin to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If you are looking for it you can't find it.
If you do make it there avoid the Gatorade. They kick you out when you read the label wrong.

People who can't attend take their new relationships PDA phase over to Twitter how they make googly eyes at each other while eating dinner at the same table and make the rest of us want to lose our lunch hundreds of miles away.

The center of the universe is located in Providence, Rhode Island in a Dunkin Donuts.

The final sign of the impending apocalypse has occurred and judgement day is around the corner. Proof is found in biblical verse:

"Lo, when the Blue Jew comes from the frozen lands of the tundra to meet up againts the Stormin Mormon who matriculated due west of the holy meeting place then they shall meet in a devastating ritual of the ancients. Imitating the form and battle tactics of a far away land they shall once and for all fight for supremacy. "

~The Dad